Get a Mentor. Now!!!
This is non-negotiable.
In today’s society there is a catacysmic drought of all types of social structures and relationships. We’re increasingly isolated from each other, pushed to value self sufficency and independence as trust breaks down in traditional structures. A lot of those traditional structures sucked, but one that every single person needs is mentorship.
With the rise of the internet, learning is democratized and avaiable within seconds. The barriers that existed to personal development have never been lower in history. But you can never recieve personal, tailored advice from a podcast. You can never vent about the struggles of progress with a wiki. You can’t be given access to new people and spaces from a youtube tutorial.
Online resources give you a foundation in a given skill, profession, craft, or art, but they can never substutute the human element that makes growth exponential. Although online communites can provide supplement to these fundamental needs, they cannot and will never replace the deep personal bonds found through mentorship.
I got really lucky. It wasn’t something I actively seeked out, and more something I fell into, at least the first time. But I couldn’t imagine reaching where I’m at without them. The point of this post is not to brag about my success, but somehow at 27, I’m reporting to a VP in a highly self-sufficent role, doing work that fulfills me.
A strong mentor contextualizes your failures and successes. They can help guide the way to your next big breakthrough or let you let you know its ok to be lost. It’s not an absolute relationship - you get to define what to take from them and what to leave. I actually have multiple mentors for different focus areas.
If you decide to pursue a mentorship here’s some advice:
Ask them explictly to mentor you - Most people want to help others and will say yes if they have the time. Its more likely that they will make the time if they see you as a mentee.
Set a structure - If you don’t carve out the time in advance, you probably won’t stick to it.
Come into each meeting with a goal - This can be as simple as a single question or area you’ve been struggling with.
Leave each meeting with next steps - Positive social pressure means you will be more productive!
I highly recommend the following videos from Greg Guevara on mentorship. This video is an entertaining rant on why you need one. This video goes into how to actually get one.
Go make friends with older people!